The UK is to send the navy to Norway in the latest development of the Cod War in alliance with the Russian North Sea Fleet and several oligarch yachts volunteering for the top brass in this great patriotic war with naval commander in chief, the First High Sea Lord, Lord Lebedev of Killmore, KGB (Knight Generalissimus Bombardier or Killer of Great Britain, his real allegiance remains S0viet of course), with expertise consistent with the present UK government of the HMS Pinafore type, the only ship he has ever seen is a lordship, it seems. His Lordship says in excitement, "I see no fish and chips! Let them eat caviar and blinis!”
On victory, his noble Lordship is to be elevated to Grand Duke of Iron Curtains of Cumberland and Culloden. Trafalgar Square is to be renamed Lebedev Square with the Nelson statue replaced by one of our new naval (not Navalny) hero...
A UK government spokesperson commented that "this is the latest great brexit opportunity of reproducing the iron curtain in UK territorial waters to take back control of our borders with our best friends and allies, the Russians, even more impressive than the Trump Wall and the Chinese Wall, world-beating unification of humanity! The European Union has been replaced with the heirs of the Soviet Union. With their expertise and experience of winning the Cold War, who better to win the Cod War with us. It is a sea of opportunity! We are also most inspired by how the Soviet Union controlled its borders by letting none of its people cross it! The Soviets were so far ahead of us in the west especially on border control. We are only now catching up. Brexit is a fantastic start in stopping Brits leaving the UK almost like the Soviet citizens once. The only thing we want to cross the borders into the UK is the corona virus. We are also greatly inspired by the Berlin wall part of the great Iron Curtain that represents Europe's finest hour which Brexit now seeks to restore or even overdo."
It is not even 1 April but 1 May. Fleeting success! All sh*t shape!
